


The Bender

by E350tb



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Bad Decisions, Blackouts, Car Chases, Dreams, Drug Use, Flirting, Gen, Guns, Hallucinations, Harassment, Las Vegas, Magicians, Nudity, Pizza, Public Nudity, Recreational Drug Use, Stevonnie is a thembo, Surreal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:08:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28013697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb
Summary: Stevonnie. Sadie. A trip to Vegas. A boatload of acid.What could go wrong?
Relationships: Sadie Miller & Stevonnie
Comments: 14
Kudos: 13





	The Bender

**Author's Note:**

> I've been excited about posting this for ages, and here it is. The bender fic. It's done.
> 
> I tried to put every warning I could think of in the tags, but if I've missed any, please let me know. I tried to show restraint, but then I remembered this is a fic about taking all the drugs in the world and going to Vegas, so... y'know.

**The Bender  
**

The desert flew past, a blur of dry greens and oranges and a bright blue sky. The road had seen better days; it was cracked and worn, wracked with potholes and fractures, and bleached by a beating sun. The pink convertible drove on, tires bouncing over the worn surface, chrome shining in the daylight.

Tiny capsules bounced in the glove department; Sadie could hear them, even with the door latched shut. The wind ran through her hair, and she could taste the distinct taste of blue on her lips. She inhaled through her nose - she could feel the pills taking hold, and the world appeared slightly more vibrant beyond the sunglasses she wore. They’d taken them at the gas station, about twenty minutes earlier; it was still about two hours to Vegas.

She glanced to her left - Stevonnie sat at the wheel, one hand on the wheel and the other on the window. Their hair swirled in the wind, and there was the faintest hint of sweat on their brow. They seemed especially colourful, which was _definitely_ a side effect of the acid. Neither of them had taken any before - this certainly promised to be interesting.

Sadie’s eyes turned to the radio - for the moment, it was silent. She pursed her lips, turning the dial, searching the airwaves for a song. Before long, she could hear an old recording of an electric guitar and, of all things, a harmonica. She sat back - perfect.

“Why didn’t we take the freeway?”

Sadie raised an eyebrow, turning to her travelling companion.

“You tell me,” she replied. “You’re driving.”

Stevonnie shrugged.

“Guess I’m just starting to realise how lonely this desert is,” they said. “Nothing but shrubs as far as you can see.”

“I can dig shrubs,” replied Sadie - she watched a particularly large one fly by and was sure she saw it wave. She waved back - it cost nothing to be polite.

Stevonnie shrugged.

“Yeah, but shrubs don’t talk to you,” they said. “I dunno, I’m in two minds about the whole ‘desert’ thing.”

“Aren’t you always?”

Stevonnie snorted.

“I guess.”

Sadie grabbed the vanilla cola she’d picked up at the gas station and took a swig. It was a strange taste, sweet vanilla mixed with the slightly more bitter, fizzy texture of the cola, and it certainly wasn’t healthy; but neither was tripping while driving. Who was going to stop her? Her mom? The cops?

Presently, they spied a township on the horizon. Stevonnie slowed as they swung past the ‘30’ sign, and they sailed into the town at a brisk pace.

It was like any other town on the open road, a tiny hamlet that had seen better days. There was a culturally insensitive wigwam motel, the white spires stabbing the sapphire sky. A little way down the road was a fifties diner, fire-engine red and mint blue, with an old black sedan parked out the front. A gentleman in a black suit leaned on the side, his head following their convertible as they drove past.

Sadie felt a shiver down her spine.

“That guy,” she said. “In the black suit. He’s watching us.”

Stevonnie glanced over as they pulled up at a stoplight.

“Next to the car?” they asked.

Sadie nodded.

The man took a long drag of a cigarette. He was a baffling apparition; it was eighty-nine out, and this guy was dressed to the nines; combed hair, tight shirt with the top button done up, black tie. His gaunt, pale face was framed with dark shades, and in them, Sadie could see herself reflected. She felt her leg begging to bounce.

“I don’t know,” mused Stevonnie. “Maybe he’s a small-town lawyer.”

“No, no,” Sadie shook her head. “He’s got to be a spook.”

“But what if he’s not, though?”

The man threw his cigarette to the ground, extinguishing it under a polished shoe. His hand went for his jacket.

“Shit! We’ve gotta go!”

“Sadie?”

“We’ve gotta go!”

Stevonnie floored it, the car storming through the red light. The speedometer clicked up - 30, 40, 50, 60 - and the world beyond turned to a blur of colours.

“Come on, come on, come on!” Sadie shouted. “We’ve gotta go!”

They soared past a billboard - for a moment, there was nothing but wind, and then…

_AwwoooOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOoooooooo!_

Sadie glanced back - a pair of squad cars, their lights flashing red and blue, were hot on their heels. They seemed to be giants on the small, cracked road, their radiators like slathering teeth determined to devour their little convertible.

“Fuzz,” she said, more calmly than she’d expected.

“I hear them,” replied Stevonnie. “Hate that sound. Hold on.”

They turned up the radio.

_get’cha motor running… head out on the highway… looking for adventure…_

“That’s better,” said Stevonnie, visibly relaxing.

“We gonna gun it?” asked Sadie.

“We gonna gun it,” nodded Stevonnie, as if they weren’t already.

Their foot flattened down the accelerator, and the little convertible picked up speed. Sadie rested her arm on the window, taking another sip of her coke. She felt like she was flying.

Maybe she was. She imagined their little car soaring and swerving through the sky, and it felt so real she could almost touch the fluffy white clouds. She tasted them with her tongue - they tasted like mashed potatoes. Huh.

“Mash potato,” she said. “They taste like mash potato.”

“Hmm?”

“The clouds.”

“Nah,” Stevonnie replied. “They taste like cauliflower. Trust me. I’m the space expert.”

“Clouds aren’t in space, though.”

They roared on, past shrubs and cacti, soaring by distant mesas and tiny towns. The cops were certainly persistent; they pursued relentlessly, and Sadie could hear their cars slobbering and barking as they chomped at the bit to bite their heels. But they couldn’t catch them. 

They were Sadie and ‘Vonnie.

They were invincible.

“Hey, Sadie.” Stevonnie glanced over. “You think they ever run trains on that thing?”

Sadie glanced over - the road ran parallel to a railway line, the steel rails stretching into the infinite horizon. It certainly didn’t _look_ disused.

“I think so,” she said.

“Good,” replied Stevonnie, “because I have an idea.”

For a while, they thundered on down the road, and Sadie wondered what their idea was. She took another sip of her drink and gazed up at the sky. She’d never quite realised how big it was.

Before long, there was a sound, long and deep. In the distance was a metal object shimmering in the sunlight, snaking through the land like a great steel serpent. A blue diesel engine roaring through the desert, an endless string of boxcars behind it.

Sadie blinked. No! It wasn’t a diesel engine!

It was a tank engine!

_Thomas the Tank Engine!_

Stevonnie grinned, picking up the pace as the train approached from the opposite direction. As it grew closer, they yanked the steering wheel left - the race was on! They needed to beat the police across the track!

Thomas! Thomas would save them!

Thomas whistled happily to them - **_MMRRRAAAAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGGG!_** \- and the driver waved (quite frantically, actually) as they approached. He was close enough to touch. Sadie reached out her hand, almost wanting to pet him - but no, that would be weird. She didn’t want to be weird in front of Thomas. He was a celebrity, after all.

Instead, she pulled back her hand, clutching the door as they bumped over the rails, the bumper almost scraping Thomas’ buffers as they soared over to the other side.

The police cars vanished behind the train, but Stevonnie didn’t wait for them to recover. They were already speeding along the other side of the track, putting distance between their convertible and the police.

“Nailed it,” they said.

The two exchanged a fist bump. Stevonnie exhaled through their nose and grinned.

“Good thing the Little Engine That Could saved our bacon.”

Sadie blinked.

“What?”

* * *

Vegas was a city of lights, an oasis of neon in the darkness of the desert. The strip was long and surrounded on both sides by lines of casinos and hotels, gaudy replicas of world landmarks, and music played in the street. Stevonnie could just about make out the words, covers of an old, iconic song about the city. It sounded nice.

“Right,” they said, “We’re looking for… the Tsarina. Supposed to be a little way down the strip.”

“There it is,” nodded Sadie, pointing to their left.

It was a tall building, brown and art-deco in style, with white neon lights running along the walls. A fountain dominated the front courtyard; a woman in a classical pose, one hand on her hip and the other extended into the air daintily, water spouting out of a spout on the head. Perhaps it was the last echoes of the acid, but they thought it looked a bit like Ronaldo’s girlfriend.

“Hey,” they said. “Is it just me, or does that statue look a bit like Jane?”

Sadie took a look.

“It’s just you,” she said.

They pulled into an underground parking lot and found a space not far from the elevator. It was quieter down here, the lights flickering in the concrete-and-asphalt space. Their rented convertible stood out amongst the predominantly black, grey and white cars like night and day.

Stevonnie checked their reservation on their phone as Sadie emptied the car of their bags and… _other possessions_. They’d travelled light, so they’d only have to make one trip from the car to their room.

They strolled over to the elevator to head up to the lobby, Sadie rubbing her head.

“I think the acid’s wearing off,” she said.

“Yeah,” nodded Stevonnie. “We have more though.”

“You, uh, you comfortable with that?” asked Sadie.

“Hmm?”

They entered the elevator, and Stevonnie pressed the button.

“I mean, this is the first time we’ve ever really done… well, _this._ ” Sadie patted her jeans pocket, where the little bag of pills now sat.

“Yeah,” replied Stevonnie. “But Sour Cream said it’s safe, right?”

“Sour Cream thinks a lot of things are safe, Stevonnie,” said Sadie. “You know he’s been to the hospital a couple of times, right?”

“I know, yeah,” Stevonnie nodded. “But he’d never leave us astray, you know?”

Sadie nodded.

There was a ping, and they stepped out of the elevator into the hotel lobby. The hotel had two entrances - one for checking and checking out, and one for the casino. It wouldn’t be a Vegas casino without one, after all.

The receptionist was a tired, tan-skinned man in a red vest and tie, his nametag reading ‘Hello, My Name is Eugene.’ He looked up as they approached the counter, his eyes bagged and bleary.

“Yuh-huh?” he said.

“Room for three?” said Stevonnie, showing the reservation on their phone.

Eugene looked at their code, nodded, and punched it into his computer. Stevonnie looked closely at him - he had an exceptionally large mole on his nose.

“Okay,” he said, “you’re in room… 618.” He planted the key card on the desk, along with a small pile of casino chips. “You’ve got twenty-five chips on the house; check-out is at 10.30 on Monday. Casino is through the double-doors on the left, rooms are up the elevator on the right. Have a nice stay, ma’ams.”

“I’m a they.”

“Sorry.”

Stevonnie took the card and they walked over to the elevator.

“What’s the plan?” asked Stevonnie as they pressed the button.

“Honestly?” replied Sadie. “After today’s drive, pizza and sleep.”

Stevonnie nodded. They could do that.

The room wasn’t too large, but it was nice enough. The carpets were a light cream colour, and the beds were large and looked comfortable - they had two queens, which was odd, as the room was meant to be for three. Perhaps they assumed someone would be sharing.

Why had they booked for three again? Stevonnie couldn’t quite remember.

“You want to walk and get pizza, or do you want to order?” asked Sadie.

“Order,” replied Stevonnie. “My feet are killing me.”

They flopped onto the bed, letting out a long sigh. In their head, they could still hear the sounds of sirens mixed with Steppenwolf, and their eyes ached from hours of watching the road. An easy night before they started experiencing Vegas seemed absolutely ideal.

Sadie called the pizza place - they went half-and-half, Vegetarian for Stevonnie, Hawaiian for Sadie, with a small helping of fries and two drinks on the side. Once the order had been made, Sadie relaxed on her own bed.

“What kind of bathroom do we have?” she asked.

Stevonnie sat up, looking in the open door.

“We’ve got a shower,” they replied, “and… ooh, a bath! A lot of hotels don’t have those!”

“My mom’s house doesn’t even have one of those,” chuckled Sadie.

Stevonnie sat back down again as Sadie rummaged through her bag.

“Got a few brownies in here,” she said. “I’ve heard they help you sleep.”

“Maybe after pizza,” nodded Stevonnie.

It wasn’t long before the pizza arrived. Stevonnie found themself munching on a slice; they didn’t have much to say, and were content to eat in peace.

“I keep feeling like we’re forgetting something,” mused Sadie.

Stevonnie turned, eyebrows raised.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t know what,” Sadie shrugged. “Can’t be that important.”

“We’re forgetting…” Stevonnie racked their brain. “We’re forgetting… nah, sorry, I’ve got nothing. My brain’s still a bit… y’know?”

“Maybe we’ll remember tomorrow,” mused Sadie. “You sure you want brownies if your head’s a bit mixed up? We can just sleep it off.”

“Nah, nah, I want some,” replied Stevonnie. “I mean, it’s part of the fun, right?”

Sadie frowned.

“Alright,” she said, “but the minute it stops being fun, you’ve gotta tell me, alright?”

Stevonnie grinned.

“Gotcha.”

They didn’t have much of the brownies; just enough for a pleasant high. Stevonnie settled into bed as they turned the lights off, the gentle sound of an old rock song on Sadie’s phone and the hum of the air conditioner giving the room a soothing ambience. Their heavy eyes closed, and they drifted off into peaceful, if vivid, dreams.

* * *

“Mmph… what time is it?”

Sadie opened her eyes, wincing at the sun pouring through the window. Had they slept with it open all night? She turned, seeing Stevonnie clutching their head in their own bed, and picked up her phone.

“12.45,” she read.

“We slept all morning?” demanded Stevonnie.

“Looks like it,” replied Sadie.

She forced herself to sit up.

“Are we going to do much today?” she asked, rubbing her eyes. The dim memories of last night’s dreams were already fading - she’d been a kaiju, she remembered, but she had to apply for permission to trample Tokyo, and it was going to take six to eight weeks for them to get back to her…”

Stevonnie smiled - a lopsided expression.

“Sure!” they replied. “We’re gonna explore the strip, aren’t we?”

Sadie reached for her discarded jeans, pulling the capsules from the pocket.

“We gonna…?”

Stevonnie grinned.

“Course we are, Sadie!” they replied. “That’s part of the fun, remember!”

They jumped out of bed, heading for the shower. As they slammed the door shut behind them, Sadie glanced at the little capsules.

“Yeah…” She nodded, smiling. “Yeah! Part of the fun!”

She got up herself, looking out over the strip through the window. Before her stretched a long, wide avenue, surrounded on both sides by an eccentric mixture of buildings; it was as if the globe had been tossed out of a wash basket onto this spot in the middle of the Mojave Desert, creating an alien world amongst the shrubs and sand.

She glanced down at the little capsules and stuck on under her tongue, inhaling through her nose. Then she fell back on the bed, grabbed her phone, and waited.

“Okay, your turn!”

Before long, Stevonnie had emerged from the bathroom, towel around their head. Sadie grabbed a change of clothes from her bag and took her turn in the shower.

The acid began to take hold around the time she stepped inside, and she closed her eyes, feeling the water pounding against her pale skin like rain. The water tasted strangely dry - perhaps that was simply how desert water was. She wondered when it had last rained here.

She glanced down at her breasts, water cascading down them, and gently ran her hands over them. They felt soft, squishy, like water balloons. She pressed her hands down on them, watching them distort under the pressure, and giggled to herself.

Sadie made an attempt at washing herself; she wasn’t sure how successful it was. Somehow, she emerged in one piece, stepping out as Stevonnie popped a capsule in their mouth.

Both of them had leather jackets and aviators - Sadie wore a warm-coloured Hawaiian shirt, Stevonnie a cool-coloured one. They wore wide-legged jeans underneath their belts; Stevonnie finished their outfit with a pair of red vans, while Sadie had a yellow-and-black pair of converses.

“Have you had yours?” asked Stevonnie.

“Yeah,” replied Sadie.

“Alright!” Stevonnie pointed towards the door. “Let’s go turn this strip upside down!”

They headed down the elevator, through the lobby and out onto the street - the sun was warm, and the sound of passing traffic filled the air. Sadie watched as the cars sped by, leaving trails of movement behind them. It was like a time-lapse playing out before her eyes.

They walked down the strip, for the most part content to gaze at the giant, gaudy monuments, the fountains, the clouds in the sky. They had not walked far when they reached a sign.

_TRY A TOMMY GUN - ONLY $30!_

“Hey,” said Sadie, “wanna try a Tommy Gun?”

“I dunno,” replied Stevonnie. “I think I’d be uncomfortable with guns.”

“Okay,” nodded Sadie. “Mind if I try one?”

“Go ahead!”

They carried on down the road, reaching the venue. The entrance was styled like an old concrete bunker, surrounded by crates and covered in faux bullet holes. A giant sign, written in stencil font, hung over the door - SGT. MAXWELL’S GUN EXPERIENCE.

They stepped inside, feeling the blast of the air conditioning. The inside was styled like a warehouse, with a small counter and a number of ranges for shooting. A man in a green uniform stood behind the desk, his big grey beard covering most of his weathered face. He grinned as he beheld his customers.

“Hooooow- _dy!_ ” he exclaimed. “Name’s Sergeant Maxwell! Y’all here to shoot?”

“I am,” replied Sadie. “My friend’s just watching.”

Stevonnie waved nervously.

“Sounds good!” declared Sergeant Maxwell. “What’s ya poison? I got M16s, AK-47s, M14s, _Gay-_ rands, Enfields, FALs, Mouse-ers, ol’ Brown Besses, Davy Crockett Launchers, Springfields, Pigs, Brens, Lewises-”

“I’m just after the Tommy Gun,” replied Sadie, holding up her hands.

The Sergeant nodded.

“‘21, ‘28, M1 or A1?”

Sadie blinked.

“... _yes?_ ”

“Ha! I’ll getcha the classic.”

Before long, Sadie had been set up in one of the ranges. The Tommy Gun was in her hands - it was heavy, the big drum full of ammunition weighing down the centre of the weapon. She could smell the metal of the gun; for some reason, it made her feel faintly hungry. She wore a pair of headphones over her ears to protect them from the noise.

“Right,” said the Sergeant. “This here’s the classic 1928 Thompson. Y’all got three drums, use ‘em at your leisure, I ain’t gettin’ in your way.”

Sadie looked down, her finger over the trigger. There was a strange, almost perverse power in her hands - she took a deep breath, looked towards the target, and fired.

Colour burst from the barrel of the gun and drained from everywhere else. She felt like she was in a black-and-white world and imagined herself in a fine suit and hat. The target morphed into the silhouette of a mobster - a Dion O’Banion or an Al Capone or something to that effect - distorting and flinching as the bullets hit them. All the time, the muzzle flashed - bright yellow, bright red, bright green.

The gun stopped - the magazine was out. Sadie took it out, grabbed one of the two spares, and slammed it into the magwell. She turned to Stevonnie, and imagined them in a flapper dress, a long pipe in their hands.

“Check out my typewriter, doll face,” she declared, pointing the gun back downrange.

She grinned, looking back downrange and firing once more. The rattle of the gun filled the air - she imagined a jazzy accompaniment to the imaginary slaughter. _Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat. Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat. Rat-tat-tat…_

She blinked.

She was back in reality, hands clutching an empty gun, trigger squeezed fruitlessly. The little paper target in front of her had been eviscerated, and she glanced down at the smoking barrel. She couldn’t place exactly why, but she felt a sudden sense of _revulsion_. She didn’t like this power. She didn’t like how much she’d enjoyed it.

“Y’all gonna reload?”

Sadie shook her head.

“No,” she replied. “No, I… I’m done.”

“Suit yerself,” replied the Sergeant, “but there’s no money back.”

Sadie handed back the gun and took off the headphones, staggering towards the exit. Stevonnie followed, alarmed, as she walked back out onto the street.

“Sadie, are you okay?”

Sadie nodded hesitantly.

“I’m fine,” she replied. “Just… hungry. Very hungry. Let’s get something to eat.”

* * *

They avoided the big restaurants, instead finding a little fifties-style diner nestled among the casinos. The food selection they’d picked was hardly healthy - chilli dogs, fries, onion rings and a bunch of donuts - but they were knee deep in acid and in the middle of Vegas, so health wasn’t an enormous concern.

“I still feel like something’s missing,” said Stevonnie, chewing thoughtfully on a fry.

Sadie pondered.

“I can’t think of anything,” she shrugged.

“Can’t be that important, then.”

They picked up a donut.

“Hey,” they said. “Hey Sadie.”

“Yeah?”

“If you were a donut, what kind of donut would you be?”

Sadie blinked.

“If I was a donut?”

“Yeah! You used to work at a donut store, you have to have thought about it!”

“I… it never came up,” replied Sadie. “But then again, I was never tripping on the job, so…”

“I mean, we’ve never tripped before this weekend, so…” Stevonnie shrugged.

“Well, what kind of donut do you think I am?” asked Sadie. “Seeing as you’re so interested in this topic.”

Stevonnie let out a long ‘ _hmmmm_.’

“I think you’d be a jelly donut of some kind,” they replied. “And you’d have some of those little banana candies as your hair. Ooh, and red icing, ‘cause Sadie Killer!”

Sadie giggled.

“No,” she replied. “The jelly inside is red, ‘cause it’s like blood. The icing should be purple.”

“Purple.” Stevonnie nodded. “Purple sounds good!”

“I feel like you’d be one of those classic donuts, with the holes in them,” said Sadie. “And you’d be half pink icing, and half teal icing, and there’d be a little marshmallow on the bottom.”

“I like marshmallows,” Stevonnie replied.

They both giggled again.

“Um, ma’am? Will you be paying the bill?”

Stevonnie and Sadie glanced up. A worried-looking waitress stood over them, holding a credit card machine in her hands. They looked at each other and giggled again.

“Do we have to?” asked Sadie.

“Yes, ma’am, yes you do.”

“ _Alriiiiight_ ,” replied Sadie, reaching for her wallet. “I’ll get this one.”

* * *

“Sadie. _Saaaaadie_.”

“Yes, Stevonnie?”

“Can I buy a BMW?”

Sadie blinked. “What?”

Stevonnie pointed to the white luxury car, the centrepiece of the fancy mall. They’d come in from the heat, and the car was the first thing they had seen. It was an incredibly fancy machine; the placard promised power steering, plush seats, eighteen cup holders, surround sound, tinted windows and more besides.

“No,” replied Sadie. “You can’t afford a BMW.”

“I can with Dad Money,” replied Stevonnie.

“Stevonnie, if you buy that with Dad Money, you’re just gonna feel really guilty after the high wears off,” replied Sadie.

“Please?”

“ _No._ ”

Stevonnie sighed.

“ _Fiiiiine._ ”

They walked off, feet stamping and fists clenched - they looked like an angry toddler. Sadie giggled and followed them; if she was honest, she’d been a bit tempted herself, but she wasn’t yet high enough to spend that kind of money on impulse.

* * *

The sun slowly retreated across the bright Nevada sky, and Stevonnie and Sadie strolled down the street, heading back towards the Tsarina. They weren’t done, far from it - but they’d done a bit of shopping (for what, they couldn’t quite remember) and needed to drop it off before the night really began.

“Oh, hold on,” said Sadie as they stopped by a fast-food place. “I need a second to use the little girl’s room.”

“Sure,” nodded Stevonnie.

They leaned against the glass window as Sadie walked inside, looking up at the red and blue sky.

“Hey babe, how’s it hanging?”

Stevonnie turned. A woman had approached them; her pink hair was styled into an undercut, she had a diamond piercing in her nose and a pair of large earrings and an upside-down cross necklace. Her sparkling blue dress was low cut, and had only one strap over her right shoulder, below which was a heart tattoo. Her face was heavily made up with lipstick and eyeliner.

“Hi!” said Stevonnie brightly.

“My name’s Scarlett,” said the woman. “You after a good time?” 

“Sure!” they replied. “What do you wanna do? Maybe there’s a ferris wheel around here!”

The woman seemed to be taken aback.

“I… no,” she shook her head, putting an arm over Stevonnie while her other hand gently ran over their breast. “I mean a _good_ time…”

“Like go-karts?” asked Stevonnie. “Or laser tag? Oh, me and Sadie were gonna try _gambling_ tonight, do you want to come?”

“Oh, I’m sure an enby like you can think of a much more… _intimate_ activity for us,” she replied. “Maybe your friend can join in? Three’s a crowd, but I _like_ crowds. You can ride together…”

She glanced knowingly down towards Stevonnie’s crotch.

“ _Ooooooooh_ ,” said Stevonnie, nodding knowingly.

“Yeah,” purred Scarlett.

“...but where will we find a horse out here?”

Scarlett did a double-take.

“A horse?”

“Yeah,” replied Stevonnie. “You want to ride, right? I don’t know where we’d find a horse in the middle of Vegas. Do you know somewhere?”

There was a very long, very awkward silence.

Suddenly, Scarlett let out a laugh.

“Alright,” she said, “looks like there’s no getting through to you, is there? You have yourself a good evening.”

Stevonnie watched as she strode away, hips swaying, one arm stretched slightly outwards. Before long, she had encountered a gentleman who was regarding her with more than a little _affection_ \- perhaps they knew each other.

The door opened, and Sadie came out.

“Sorry, I just had the urge to ma- _aaaah_ , it doesn’t matter,” she said.

“I met this nice lady named Scarlett,” said Stevonnie, pointing down the footpath towards her.

Sadie glanced over to her. She blinked.

“‘Vonnie, that’s a hooker.”

“Oh. _Oh._ ”

* * *

The casino part of the Tsarina was about what you might have expected from a Vegas casino - it was loud and glitzy, with rows and rows of slot machines, tables for blackjack and other card games, and a number of roulette wheels. It was one of these that had caught the pair’s attention - the black and red, plus the green zero, swirled together as the wheel was spun, creating a lovely kaleidoscope of colour. It was almost hypnotic.

“Excuse me, are you gonna play tonight, or are you just gonna stare?”

Sadie looked over to the dealer - his arms were crossed as he waited for them to make a bet. She glanced at Stevonnie - they grinned and nodded.

“Sure,” she replied. “I’m gonna put everything on…”

She thought for a moment.

“... _sixty-niiiiiiine._ ”

“There is no sixty-nine, ma’am,” grunted the dealer.

“Oh.” Sadie thought for a moment, studying the wheel. “Okay. Everything on… three. Three’s my favourite number.”

“Are you sure we should bet everything?” asked Stevonnie. “We’ve only got twenty-five chips.”

“ _Excuuuuuuse me,_ sir.”

A man in a fine silk suit, navy blue with red accents, strolled to the dealer’s table and deposited an enormous pile of chips on the table. He spoke with a crisp English accent, and his moustache was excellently trimmed.

“Everything on black, if you will,” he sniffed. “I like to live dangerously.”

Sadie grinned.

“See, he’s betting everything,” she said. “C’mon, ‘Vonnie, let's live dangerously too!”

Stevonnie pondered.

“Alright!” they said. “Everything on three!”

The Englishman snorted.

“Twenty-five chips?” he sneered. “Hardly worth the effort, isn’t it?”

The dealer rolled his eyes and spun the wheel.

Sadie watched closely as the wheel turned, swirling, swirling, almost entrancing her as it spun around and around. The ball clicked as it went the other way, and she felt a thrill in her heart. Would she win? She probably wouldn’t, but it was fun nonetheless.

The wheel stopped. So did the ball.

There was a long silence.

“Nu…” The dealer sounded baffled. “Number three. The lady wins.”

“ _What?!_ ” exclaimed the Englishman. “This is _outrageous!_ This is _scandalous!_ ”

“We won!” shouted Stevonnie, as the dealer shifted the absurd amount of chips their way - it was so large that they needed to pick up one of the small paper buckets the casino provided for these occasions.

“By Jove, I swear!” thundered the Englishman. “The Goldington Cricket Club will hear of this, I assure you!”

“Not my problem, sir,” grunted the dealer.

Stevonnie and Sadie stepped away from the roulette table, staring in baffled awe at their massive pile of chips. There had to be a thousand dollars’ worth in there, at least.

“Do we keep gambling?” asked Stevonnie. “Is that a good idea?”

Sadie glanced in the direction of the bar.

“No,” she replied. “Let’s cash it and celebrate our win. I’m gonna introduce you to a little thing I like to call…”

She grinned.

“A mai tai…”

* * *

Stevonnie didn’t know if they liked the _taste_ of mai tais, but they certainly liked the buzz. They had downed two now, and Sadie had called for a third.

The bar was pretty fancy, red-carpeted with brass-lined oak tables and counters, selling only the finest quality spirits (at corresponding prices.) There was a scent of beer on the air, but it wasn’t overpowering - a pleasant background odour. Most of the patrons wore suits or gowns of some description, with the occasional fellow in a polo shirt or dinner jacket. The clientele here was certainly fancy.

Stevonnie briefly wondered how much the room had cost. Greg had insisted on paying - they hoped he hadn’t broken the bank.

“Well now, what’s a pretty lil’ thing like you doin’ here?”

A pale gentleman with a tall pompadour and a sky-blue suit sat, quite uninvited, on the stool to their right. His piggish nose was turned up, and he wore what Stevonnie assumed was his best attempt at a winning smile. He looked a bit like a human marshmallow peep.

They’d seen better. From _Kevin._

“I’m just having a drink with my friend,” they replied, politely but firmly. “We don’t need company, thanks.”

“Oh, come now, come now,” the man replied. “There’s always room for lil’ ol’ me, ain’t there ma’am?”

“I’m not a ma’am,” said Stevonnie.

The man scoffed - _psht!_ He sounded like the springs of a bus.

“You can’t seriously believe in that stuff, can you?” he sniffed. “ _I_ watch sophisticated TubeTubers, and I can tell you that’s all a big ol’ load of _baloney_.”

“Please leave me alone,” grunted Stevonnie.

“Well, I’m _sorry_ -” He didn’t sound at all sorry. “-but facts don’t care about your feelin’s, baby. So, what's say you n’ me find a quiet spot and-”

He pressed his hand against Stevonnie’s chest.

They grabbed it with both hands and swung the stunned man over their head, slamming him face first onto the bar counter - there was the sound of shattering glass as he slid pathetically behind the bar, landing in a heap next to the bartender.

“Please don’t come behind the bar, sir,” they said.

Stevonnie stood up, towering over the crumpled form of the man.

“I am not your baby,” they snapped. “I am the saviour of Homeworld, the perfect fusion. I am the angel of retribution that’ll bring bullies like ye to heel. I am the Oncoming Storm, the conqueror of roller rinks, the champion of underground racing, the-”

“I think he’s unconscious, ‘Von,” said Sadie.

Stevonnie nodded and sat down. A few medics ran into the room, jumping behind the counter and dragging the man away by the feet, but there was no sign of security. Most people didn’t even bat an eyelash. This, it seemed, was par for the course at this esteemed establishment.

“Do you think he just woke up and decided to be an asshole?” asked Sadie. “Or was it years of training that made him that way?”

“Probably a little of column A, a little of column B,” replied Stevonnie. “That felt awesome, though. I feel like freaking… like Superman!”

“What does that make me then?” asked Sadie.

“Wonder Woman, maybe?”

“Wonder Woman’s not Superman’s sidekick,” Sadie said, chuckling. “She’s an independent woman that don’t need no man. Or enby, in this case.”

“Nah, you’re not my sidekick, you’re my partner,” replied Stevonnie.

The bartender placed their new mai tais in front of them.

“Well,” said Sadie, “can’t argue with that. Here’s to our Justice League, Superenby.”

“Here’s to us, Wonder Sadie.”

They clinked their glasses and took long sips… 

* * *

It was well past midnight, and Stevonnie stumbled down the hotel corridor, bound for their room. The acid had worn off, but the high had been replaced by the effect of far too many mai tais. They and Sadie both sang as they stumbled to the door.

“I can’t get no… _satisfaction_ …”

The door opened, and they limped into the room. Stevonnie face-planted on the bed, feeling the world spinning around them.

“I think I drank a bit too much,” they muttered.

“You drank your body weight in cocktails, Von,” replied Sadie. “You… are _pretty drunk._ ”

“Yeah, well… well so are you.”

“Maybe a little…”

Stevonnie rolled over.

“I feel like we didn’t do enough today,” they muttered.

“Hey, it’s only night two,” replied Sadie. “We got… we got a whole tomorrow ahead of us. What’dya wanna do?”

Stevonnie blinked.

“I wanna see a magic show,” they replied. “I wanna get sawn in half.”

Sadie snorted.

“Sounds painful,” she replied.

“Yeah, but it’s _magic._ ”

They rolled over to face Sadie.

“What do we still have?” they asked.

Sadie checked her pockets.

“We still have _all_ the acid,” replied Sadie. “I know we haven’t touched much of the weed. Plus, _mai tais…_ ” She giggled. “I think we have molly. I don’t know why Sour Cream gave us that.”

“‘Cause it’s good?”

Sadie shrugged.

“I mean I guess.”

She reached into the bag and pulled out some of the brownies, offering Stevonnie a little.

“Little high before bed?”

“Y’know it.”

Stevonnie took their piece of the brownie and ate it, laying back on the couch.

“This has been rad so far, Sadie,” they said dozily.

“Rad? You sound like Sour Cream.”

“Mmph…” Stevonnie mumbled, closing their heavy eyelids.

“Stevonnie? You still awake?”

“No.”

“Okay, goodnight.”

Stevonnie let themself drift away…

* * *

Sadie stood on a massive, almost endless plain of pale, stretching forever under a bright blue sky. She was wandering around aimlessly, looking for something; she had no idea what, just that it was really important; more important than anything in the world. She had an old Walkman in her hands, playing a tinny song through the earbuds; _White Rabbit._ What else would it be but _White Rabbit?_

She had walked for some time, feet sinking slightly on the spongy surface, when she encountered a lone figure walking towards her. They wore a white suit, with a white shirt and a white tie. It seemed like an outfit she’d seen on the internet, on a channel that was long gone. The figure seemed to grow more _real_ as they approached - eyes melted onto their face, then their nose and mouth, and their poofy hair grew out from their featureless dome.

Oh. It was Stevonnie. Of course.

Stevonnie reached her and giggled.

“Hey, Sadie.”

“Yeah?”

“You haven’t thought about what you’re wearing, haven’t you?”

“Why?”

She looked down.

Oh. She was naked. That should have been more embarrassing than it was.

She blinked, and suddenly she was wearing a suit too - hers was yellow. She looked back up, and Stevonnie’s suit was now pink. That seemed more appropriate.

“So, where are we?” she asked.

“Where do you think we are?” replied Stevonnie.

“Flagstaff,” Sadie replied. It was the first name that came into her head.

“Flagstaff?”

“Yeah, Flagstaff.”

Stevonnie shook their head and pointed behind her.

Sadie turned. She could see two distant hills, covered in sky-blue latex, and beyond that was an enormous, sleeping face, framed by light-blonde hair, a small scar on the cheek. She nodded knowingly.

She was on her own stomach, as she lay by a pool (or maybe a beach), dozing peacefully. Nothing could have made more sense.

She turned, and Stevonnie was scratching a beard that only existed for the purpose of being scratched. As soon as they moved their hand, it was gone.

“We’re missing something,” they said. “Something important. We need to find it.”

They walked along Sadie’s stomach, walking for what seemed like miles under the endless sky. Beyond the stomach, Sadie could see buildings - the skyline of the Strip. They must be at the hotel pool.

Presently they reached the belly button. It was a long water tube, coloured in green and orange, with a pair of inflatable rafts waiting for them at the top. She could hear the flowing water streaming down the tube.

“I can’t go down there,” she said. “It’ll ruin my suit.”

“Suit?” replied Stevonnie.

Sadie looked down - they were both wearing one-piece swimsuits.

“Oh,” she said. “It’s a swimsuit. That’s fine then.”

Each of them took an inflatable raft. Sadie looked towards the entry to the slide; Jenny stood next to it, dressed in a very revealing bikini. She felt her cheeks redden, and a hand involuntarily went between her legs.

No! No, they couldn’t be distracted. They needed to find the important thing!

“Gat stat ars tatathe leftatheft!” said Jenny.

Sadie smiled; Jenny always knew exactly what to say.

She slid forward, slipping down into the slide. The colours streamed past as she slid down, down, ever down into the depths, water splashing into her face. She slid downwards and downwards, until she felt like she was falling… 

She landed on something very soft.

She was on a king size bed in a fancy looking apartment, with a window that overlooked the city above and the sky below. Laying on the bed next to her, clad in racy red silk lingerie, was herself.

“Face it,” she said. “You’ve always wanted to do this.”

“Do what?”

The other Sadie leaned in and kissed her, deeply and passionately, tongue exploring-

-she fell onto her back, rain cascading down around her. She didn’t know where she was, only that she was naked and cold, and she had to get out of the rain before it washed away her face. She scrambled to sit up, seeing Stevonnie dancing around next to her.

They were naked, but there was nothing to see - they were like a doll, featureless, no nipples or… other parts. They turned to her and smiled, and their face melted away like wet paint, leaving a featureless void.

“Stevonnie, we have to get ins-mph!”

She felt her mouth and nose drip away, as well as her eyes and her nipples and sex, until she was just as featureless. Darn it, she hated it when this happened! It was always so irrit-

-she was six years old, running down a corridor after Lars, and try as she might, she could never catch him-

-kissing someone, she didn’t know who, and she didn’t know how she got there or why, and-

-mouth between the person’s thighs, tongue exploring-

-she was falling, falling, falling…

* * *

Stevonnie awoke with a gasp.

They supposed it was the sudden shock that came with the loss of the falling sensation that had ended their dream, which was already slipping away even as they rubbed their eyes. They were… missing something? Missing what? It couldn’t be important.

They felt dampness in the bedsheets and blushed. Whatever dream it was, it must’ve been interesting.

They rolled over. Sadie had clearly just woken up and was blinking away her bleariness. Her face was a little red too, and…

Stevonnie buried their head in their hands.

“Please tell me we didn’t just share that dream,” they grunted.

“I mean, maybe?” Sadie replied.

“ _UuuUUuUUuUUGH._ ”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t remember much of it,” said Sadie, shrugging. “Just… I think Jenny? And Lars? Do you remember them?”

“I only remember Jenny,” replied Stevonnie. “We must’ve split up. I definitely remember Steven and Connie.”

“Definitely didn’t see them,” said Sadie.

“ _Oh, thank god._ ”

They sat up.

“You got the time?”

Sadie checked her phone.

“Holy shit, it’s three thirty,” she replied.

“Whoa,” muttered Stevonnie.

They climbed out of bed, staggering towards the bathroom and leaning against the door. Their head was pounding.

“Fuck,” they said, “I really feel like I invaded your privacy there.”

“Hey,” replied Sadie. “We were both high. You couldn’t help it.”

“Couldn’t I?” replied Stevonnie. “I feel like that’s not a good enough excuse. I…”

“Vonnie, don’t beat yourself up,” said Sadie. “Go have a shower, okay? Cool off a bit.”

“I…”

Stevonnie blinked slowly, exhaling.

“Alright,” they replied. “But I need you to know that I’m very, very, very…”

They ducked as Sadie threw a pillow at them.

“Just go!” she shouted, grinning.

Stevonnie nodded and ducked into the bathroom.

After everything they’d pumped into their system, showering (relatively) sober seemed like a letdown - everything felt rather dull, compared to the sensation of feeling they were starting to get used to. They sighed and hummed to themself as they washed, thinking back over the last few days - they already felt like there were gaps in their memory, but nothing too egregious.

When they came out, they found Sadie tapping on her phone.

“Turns out Sour Cream left some surprises in the front of the bag,” she said.

“Yeah?” replied Stevonnie.

“Ketamine pills,” said Sadie, “and a bit of magic mushrooms to smoke.”

“I’ve never smoked before,” said Stevonnie hesitantly.

“It’s not like tobacco,” assured Sadie. “It won’t kill you - I think.”

She got up off the couch.

“Let’s have a sanity check,” she said. “Order some pizza and have some ‘me time’ up here, just us.”

“Us and a boatload of drugs.”

“Us and a boatload of drugs, yeah,” nodded Sadie. “Get our bearings before we spend our last night on the Strip, huh?”

She held out a hand - there was an acid capsule sitting in her palm. Stevonnie smiled and took it.

“That sounds nice,” they said. “What could go wrong?”

* * *

They stood on the balcony together under the pale, darkening blue sky, looking down over the strip as they dragged on the special cigarettes. Stevonnie coughed a little as they took the rolled-up cigarette from their mouth. The taste wasn’t like anything else they’d experienced.

“You okay with those?” asked Sadie.

“Yeah,” replied Stevonnie. “Just new at this.”

They looked up.

“The clouds are pretty,” they said.

“Yeah,” nodded Sadie. “Real pretty. Feels like I can reach out and touch them.”

She reached out but could not reach the fluffy white clouds.

“Dang.”

She dragged on her cigarette and looked down. The hotel pool was directly below them, sparkling blue under the sunlight. There were a few people swimming down there, and two guys in the hot tub (about five feet away from each other) - Sadie had an urge to jump from the balcony into the waters, but even as high as she was, she knew that would be an awful idea.

“We should swim later,” said Sadie.

“Yeah,” said Stevonnie. “We should.”

Another drag.

“You ever dated?” asked Sadie.

Stevonnie pondered, scratching their neck.

“I dated Kiki once,” they replied.

Sadie’s eyes widened.

“You fucked Ki…”

“I _dated_ Kiki,” said Stevonnie. “We didn’t _do_ anything; I took her to prom. We just decided to be friends, you know?”

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense,” nodded Sadie. “Sorry.”

There was a brief silence.

“... _would_ you…”

“I think Kiki is aroace,” replied Stevonnie.

“Oh yeah, she’s definitely aroace,” said Sadie. “But if she wasn’t…”

“Yeah, but she _is._ ”

The message in their inflection was clear. Sadie nodded, and took another drag.

“How about Jenny?”

Stevonnie blinked.

“She has a nice little triangle going,” they shrugged. “I wouldn’t want to get in the way. Because then it would be a square.”

“Fair enough.”

They took a drag of their cigarette.

“Now if it was a _hexagon_ , I’d join that. Hexagons are a great shape.”

“Hexagons are _awesome_ ,” nodded Sadie. “So much cooler than squares.”

“I know, right?” said Stevonnie. “One day I’m gonna run for politics, and that’s gonna be my platform. More hexagons!”

“More hexagons!”

“Also human rights n’ shit.”

“But mostly hexagons!”

“Mostly hexagons!”

“I’d vote for that shit, President Stevonnie,” giggled Sadie. “Heck, I’ll be your running mate.”

“You can’t - the running mate has to be from another state.”

“Oh. Darn.”

* * *

The pizza had arrived, and Sadie and Stevonnie sat on their beds, eating slices while listening to the music on Sadie’s phone. They felt incredibly relaxed, which probably had something to do with the ketamine they’d just taken. Stevonnie was tapping on their tablet, aimlessly exploring the web.

“Hey,” they said. “You haven’t got any texts this weekend, have you?”

“Nah,” replied Sadie, “I’ve got them blocked.”

“Nice,” nodded Stevonnie.

They took a bite of pizza and let out a long _hmmmm._

“Something’s missing,” they said.

“Yeah, you took out the pineapple ‘cause they didn’t cook it with the rest of the pizza,” said Sadie.

“No, it’s not that…” Stevonnie bit their lip, thinking. “Aha!”

They grabbed their backpack and started fishing around in it.

“What is it?” asked Sadie.

“I brought these along for tonight,” replied Stevonnie. “Well, _one_ night anyway. Tada!”

They pulled out a little box, pressing a button and clicking it open. There were several tubes of lipstick and eyeliner, as well as the tools to apply them. They grabbed a glossy, gold-yellow tube and tossed it over to their friend.

“I think I also bought dresses,” they added. “Although I might have lost them.”

“What is this, Drag Run?” asked Sadie, looking over the tube. “I don’t know if I can walk down the Strip in some sparkly-knee length thing.”

“Oh.”

Stevonnie looked down.

“Stevonnie?”

“They’re, uh, they’re not _knee-_ length.”

“ _Stevonnie._ ”

“I thought they looked cute, okay!”

“If we go onto the Strip in this makeup and those dresses, if they’re… what I’m assuming, people are gonna stop us and ask what we’re charging, okay?”

“For what?” asked Stevonnie. “Will they think we’re Tuber?”

Sadie shot them a meaningful look.

“Stevonnie,” she said. “What is the enby word for ‘himbo?’”

Stevonnie pondered.

“...Jimbo.”

“Jimbo?”

“No, that sounds dumb… _thembo._ ”

“You’re such a thembo sometimes, ‘Vonnie,” chuckled Sadie.

“What can I say?” replied Stevonnie, “People love it!”

Sadie shrugged - they had a point.

“Look, let’s just put on what we wore yesterday,” she said. “It doesn’t smell that bad. In fact, I’m gonna get changed now; we can head out before the ketamine relaxes us too much.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

Sadie got up and strolled into the bathroom, leaving Stevonnie alone. They rummaged through their bag, seeing what else they had brought.

“Hey, there’s a third dress in here. _Huh_.”

* * *

“...you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk…”

Stevonnie and Sadie sang as they strolled down the Strip, taking in the lights and the night air as they looked around for something to do. The lights swirled and danced around them as they went, the cars melting into the ambience - it was almost like a laser light show. A few people stared as they walked by, but they paid them no attention.

Before long, they encountered a small crowd by the road. A fellow in a top hat stood in front of them, beaming a showman’s smile and waving a plastic-looking wand in his hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, step right up, step right up!” he exclaimed. “And witness the magic of Mitch the Magnificent!”

Sadie and Stevonnie exchanged glances.

“Mitch?” quizzed Sadie.

“I dunno, he could be fun to watch,” Stevonnie shrugged.

They walked over as the magician continued his opening spiel.

“Prepare to be dazzled!” he exclaimed. “Be ready to be amazed! Tonight, we shall defy gravity, confound reality and break laws of physics!”

He smirked and raised a hand to a cheek, mock whispering.

“None of you happen to be cops, right?”

There was a scattered, polite laugh.

“Now, if you please, a volunteer!” exclaimed the magician. “But beware, for we will be engaging in startling magics! This is not for the faint hearted; only the bold should-”

“I’m bold! I’m bold!” Stevonnie jogged to the front of the crowd.

“I… okay then!” said the magician. “I-i-i-it usually takes longer than that.”

He paused for another laugh. Once the silence had become uncomfortable, he continued.

“Now,” he said, pointed to a poorly painted purple-and-red box with three doors, one on top of the other, “I’m sure you’re all familiar with this trick. Woman goes into a box-”

“I’m nonbinary.”

“Yes, but it’s generally a woman. Woman goes into a box, magician cuts her in three, ladedadeda! But this time, ladies and gentlemen, it’s going to be different! So-”

“How’s it gonna be different?” someone called.

“I-uh-um-it just is,” replied the magician. “Now step into the-”

“No seriously, how’s it gonna be-”

“Shut up, sir, shut up.” The magician pinched his nose. “Please get into the box.”

Stevonnie practically bounced into the box - they knew it would be fake, but they didn’t care. They just wanted to be part of the show.

Inside, they could just about see how it might work - not that they’d tell anyone; it wasn’t their place to reveal the magician’s secrets, after all. But as they listened to the magician give his spiel about cutting them in three, they noticed that the bottom of the top ‘box’ was just in line with their neck. They grinned - they had an _idea_ to help the magician win the respect of this audience.

The magician closed the door, and Stevonnie heard the sound of the fake blade cutting through the box. Their gem glowed - this was going to bring the house down, they thought.

“...and now, to show that our lovely volunteer is unharmed…”

The magician opened the top door.

Stevonnie’s head tumbled out, landing with a thud on the ground. They winced - they hadn’t thought about that, and it certainly stung a little.

The crowd gasped; someone screamed and fainted. The magician screamed too, his hat flying off as he clutched his head. The crowd began to disperse, everyone running off in a different direction, screams and shouts filling the air.

“No, no! That was a fake blade! _It was all fake!_ ” shouted the magician. “I-it’s not real!”

He picked up Stevonnie’s head.

“It-it-it’s a prank! This is plastic, right? _Plastic!_ ”

“No, it’s _magic!_ ” replied Stevonnie, grinning.

The magician screeched, hurled their head back to the ground and bolted for the hills - as they departed, they could hear him screaming; “I won’t go to jail! Not again! _Not again!_ ”

Their vision shifted as Sadie picked up their head, sighing.

“You should probably have told them you can shapeshift before you did that,” she said.

“Maybe,” replied Stevonnie as Sadie carried them to their body.

“So, did Amethyst teach you that one?” asked Sadie, carefully planting their head back on their shoulders - there was a glow, and it reattached.

“Yeah,” Stevonnie nodded.

“Would’ve been pretty cool to use in a Sadie Killer vid,” mused Sadie.

“Maybe you could get back together for a special album?” shrugged Stevonnie, stepping out of the box.

“Maybe,” Sadie replied, “on one condition.”

“Yeah?”

“That headless trick? We’re putting it on the album cover.”

* * *

Stevonnie and Sadie sat in the front row, watching the women on stage dance around the pole in various stages of undress. Around them, people - mostly men - were shouting, hooting and hollering, but they were sitting quietly and watching the lights flashing on the mist-covered stage, drinking from cans of Sprite.

“Why did we come here?” asked Stevonnie.

“Wanted to look at girls,” shrugged Sadie. “It’s not that complicated. The atmosphere really kills it, though.”

“Yeah, it smells like armpits in here,” nodded Stevonnie.

They took a sip of their drink.

“Cool light show, though.”

“Yeah, very cool,” Sadie replied.

* * *

“You know, we still have a lot of drugs.”

Stevonnie and Sadie were sitting by the road outside their hotel, watching the traffic whizz by, a kaleidoscope of lights and sound. They’d gotten back earlier than expected - it was only midnight - and they weren’t at all tired.

Stevonnie tilted her head.

“What gives with that?” they asked. “Why’d we take so many? It’s like we brought enough for three people?”

“Maybe we were just gonna hand them out,” mused Sadie. “Or maybe Sour Cream didn’t get the amount right. I dunno.”

“Well, we’ve gotta do something with them,” said Stevonnie. “We can’t take them on the plane back to Delmarva.”

“No,” nodded Sadie. “We can’t. We’ll just have to throw them out.”

Stevonnie shook their head.

“No, Sour Cream wouldn’t want that,” they replied. “They wouldn’t want that at all.”

The two shared a glance.

“We haven’t been to the pool yet,” said Stevonnie. “Why don’t we take it all, head down to the pool, and…”

“...take everything and swim?” replied Sadie. “That sounds like a horrible idea. Let’s do it.”

They got up off the curb, but Sadie stopped suddenly, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Wait, we can’t,” she sighed. “I forgot… I forgot to buy swimsuits.”

“ _And?_ ” Stevonnie shrugged.

Sadie blinked.

“You’re not…”

“There’s not gonna be anyone down there this late,” said Stevonnie.

“No,” snapped Sadie, “I may be high, but I am _not_ gonna-”

* * *

Sadie sat in the hot tub, head back and eyes closed, as she felt the hot water against her bare skin. The lights had been off when they got down, but there was enough background light to find their way to the tub, and the water was still being heated. She opened her eyes and stared up at the blackness of the sky, stained as it was by the lights of the Strip.

She’d doubled down on the acid and the ketamine, and thus the sensation of the bubbling water was unlike anything she’d experienced before - vibrant and stimulating. She was starting to feel almost like an observer, seeing herself moving and talking but not quite being there herself.

She turned to Stevonnie - the light of another rolled cigarette of magic mushrooms illuminating their face.

“This is fuckin’ _good_ ,” they said.

“Fuck yeah,” nodded Sadie.

She blinked.

“Do you think that the higher we get, the more we say fuck?”

Stevonnie shrugged.

“Fuckin’... probably.”

They put out their cigarette and scooted closer, putting an arm over their friend’s shoulder.

“I never thought I’d do this, you know?” they said. “But this weekend has been _amazing._ I’m so glad Sour Cream suggested it.”

“I’m just glad I went along with it,” replied Sadie. “I was honestly so terrified of doing this - I mean, I never even smoke tobacco, never mind all this.”

Stevonnie snorted.

“Nicotine,” they said, shaking their head. “ _Ew._ How about Shep? They seem like they have.”

“Are you assuming my partner does drugs?” said Sadie flatly.

“Yes.” Stevonnie’s reply was so blunt, Sadie couldn’t help but giggle.

“Surprisingly, not much,” she replied. “I mean, they do a bit of weed, but only occasionally. Sometimes when they have an anxiety attack.”

“They have anxiety?” Stevonnie tilted their head. “They seem so… put together?”

“Oh yeah, they’re on meds for it,” replied Sadie. “Fluvoxamine, I think. They say it really helps.”

“Huh.” Stevonnie nodded. “Do they talk to people about it? As a support worker?”

“Yeah,” said Sadie. “A lot, actually. A lot of struggling kids and teenagers have anxiety. They help them with coping strategies. You know, like breathing exercises, meditation, that sort of thing.”

“I might have to hit them up for tips,” chuckled Stevonnie. “Maybe when I see them next - they’ll be at the airport, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” nodded Sadie.

“Maybe they can come next time!”

Sadie shook her head.

“This…” She motioned around, at the hotel and the lights of the strip. “...this isn’t their scene. They’re not big on the idea of Vegas; heck, they don’t even like Atlantic City.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be Vegas next time,” said Stevonnie.

“I don’t want to make them uncomfortable, ‘Von,” said Sadie. “Besides, just because we’re a thing doesn’t mean we have to do everything together.”

She blushed a little.

“In fact, if I’m being totally honest - _and don’t tell anyone this_ …”

She swallowed.

“...we kind of have an open relationship.”

Stevonnie frowned, somewhat confused.

“What’s wrong with that?” they asked.

“Well, it’s just… I don’t know how people would take it,” muttered Sadie. “Like, you’d be fine, and the Cool Kids would be fine, and all the gems wouldn’t care, but I worry about what mom would think. And, like, the people in Beach City are pretty open-minded, but it might be a bit _much_ for them. I don’t know.”

She shrugged.

“A lot of people don’t _get_ open relationships, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Stevonnie nodded sadly.

“Besides,” Sadie snorted. “If anyone found out, people like Kevin might think they have a shot.”

“Kevin’s not so bad!” exclaimed Stevonnie. “He volunteered for that trans rights educational show at the elementary show.”

“The puppet show?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow. Maybe there’s hope for everyone.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, feeling the warmth. Sadie yawned and nestled her head on Stevonnie’s shoulder.

“You know, the Deweys have a summer house up in the mountains,” she said. “Sour Cream said they’re going up there in the fall.”

“If Sour Cream told you that, I’m guessing they’re taking a lot of… well, the good stuff, I guess,” replied Stevonnie.

“He made that very explicit.”

Stevonnie giggled.

“We should go with them,” said Sadie.

“How long will they be up there?” asked Stevonnie.

“Two weeks.”

“Hmm…” Stevonnie pondered for a moment. “I’ll think about it. Depends how coming down from all this feels.”

“Yeah, that’s a good point.”

She looked over to her bag, sitting by the hot tub.

“What do we have left?” asked Stevonnie.

“Molly, I think,” replied Sadie. “And the rest of the brownies.”

A grin spread onto Stevonnie’s face.

“Let’s take it,” they said. “All of it. Finish the weekend with a bang!”

Sadie grinned back and reached for the bag, dragging it over.

“Heck yeah,” she said, digging out the last of the drugs. She handed Stevonnie a tablet and broke the rest of the brownie (there wasn’t much) in half.

“Well,” she said, planting the tablet on her tongue, “here’s to terrible fucking ideas.”

“Here’s to terrible fucking ideas _with friends_ ,” replied Stevonnie.

They both swallowed, sending the tablet down their throats. Sadie took a deep breath, climbed out of the hot tub, and took a running jump towards the pool, splashing into the cold waters. She blinked

* * *

and opened her eyes.

The desert flew by beyond tinted windows as Sadie sat in the comfortable seat of the BMW. The air conditioning blew in her face, and she could hear the radio playing softly in the background. A half-drunk can of Sprite sat in the cup holder, and there was the slight smell of fast-food muffins in the air.

“What… what the fuck?” Sadie jolted up. “Where are we? What happened?!”

Stevonnie jumped and almost swerved off the road - luckily, they caught themself, although the car jolted violently.

“I-I don’t know!” they exclaimed. “I think… I think we’re on the road back to LA? It looks sort of familiar.”

Sadie checked the glove compartment - there was a printout indicating that they’d checked out of the Tsarina, as well as a half-eaten Twix bar. They shot a glance to the back, and saw their bags piled up next to-

“Is that a microwave oven?!” she exclaimed. “Why… why did we buy a microwave oven? Where are we gonna plug it in?”

“Are we in a BMW?” said Stevonnie. “Did we _buy_ this, or did we _steal_ it?”

Sadie double checked the glove department - under the Twix bar was the paperwork for the brand-new car, as well as the price tag. She winced - _ooooof._

She was just turning to tell Stevonnie the price when she did a double take.

“What’re you wearing?”

Stevonnie wore a white suit jacket with a green shirt that was only half buttoned, matched poorly with ripped jeans and a pair of cowboy boots. Their face was made up with sparkly pink lipstick and black eyeliner.

“Me? What about you?” replied Stevonnie.

Sadie looked in the mirror - they had gold lipstick on, along with a neon pink jacket, a shirt marked ‘Hard Rock Cafe’, a knee length khaki shirt, and high Wellington boots. She stared, blinking.

“I… what did we _do_ last night?” she exclaimed.

She felt something against her foot and leaned down to pick it up. It was a little card that read ‘thank you for everything, you changed my life. - Dave.’

“Who the _fuck_ is Dave?”

“ _I don’t know!_ ”

Sadie shook her head.

“I just… what’re we gonna tell the rental company?” she exclaimed. “We left the pink convertible back at the hotel!”

“I mean, will they be upset if we trade it for a BMW?” asked Stevonnie.

“Probably,” replied Sadie. “Means more paperwork for them, at least.”

“Yeah…”

They drove in silence for some time, Sadie glancing back out the window and watching the desert fly by. For some reason, the sudden shock had faded into a sense of calm - maybe it was fatalism. Maybe now that she knew they’d done… _something_ overnight, and thus couldn’t change it, she didn’t feel like she needed to worry anymore. Or maybe the drugs were still affecting her, it could be either.

“Heck of a weekend, huh?” she said at last.

“Yeah,” Stevonnie nodded. “Heck of a weekend.”

“You think you’ll do it?” asked Sadie. “Go with the Cool Kids, I mean?”

Stevonnie pondered.

“I… think I will,” they replied. “This has been great, but it’d be nice do it somewhere that isn’t - well - _Vegas._ ”

“Yeah, definitely,” nodded Sadie. “But next time, we’re gonna take…”

She trailed off, a sudden, deep feeling of horror in her gut. _Oh no,_ she thought. “ _Oh no!_ ”

“What?” asked Stevonnie. “What happened?”

Sadie turned to them, her eyes wide, her face turning a deathly pale. For a moment, Stevonnie was confused - then the gears in their head clicked, and they thought back.

The larger than expected amount of drugs. The third dress. The dream about looking for something. The room for three. The gas station where they’d bought the shades. The constant, nagging feeling that something was missing; suddenly, everything made perfect, terrible sense.

“Oh my god,” they said.

Sadie clutched her head, and Stevonnie’s palms gripped the wheel tightly. They had made a terrible mistake.

**“ _We left Lars back at the gas station!_ ”**

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> *cut to Lars, surrounded by empty bags of chips, sitting on the side of the road.*
> 
> Also, yes, that was Gideon. And no, I don't think Stevonnie can do that with their shapeshifting, but it was funny, so I did it.


End file.
